He killed him. With his bare, bloodied fists one Hockey father mercilessly beat another father to a slow, painful death by robotically pounding him on the side of his head – as nearly a dozen, horrified children watched on in frozen terror. As the national and international media outlets swarmed this small New England town, the entire country soon became saddened and captivated as the details of the story began to unfold. How could this happen? Two average Hockey dads at their sons practice session argue over a play on the ice – leading to this unimaginable outcome. Shocked!. Stunned!.Surprised! We asked ourselves again and again, how could this happen? If however, you have a child engaged in youth sports, then perhaps your only surprise was that this terrible tragedy didn’t happen much sooner and much more often.
An out of control father screaming obscenities at a bewildered fifteen year old umpire? Two mothers screaming at each other just hours before the opening curtain of their daughter’s dance recital? A gotta-win coach arrogantly defending his actions to bench the nine year old son of an impassioned father because the coach “needs to win this game”? These public demonstrations of spastic, out of control adults, happens all too regularly at these children events. Like a prickly weed that snakes itself through a beautiful flower garden, these misfit parents manage to take something that is intended to be fun for the children, and turn it into a stressful, highly emotional, angst filled event for parents and children alike.
You know the parent I’m talking about. He lives in every community and he somehow manages to find his way into so many of your child’s events. He’s rude. He’s self centered. He’s a know it all. He eats, sleeps and drinks sports. He’s loud. He’s arrogant. And yes, this is an equal opportunity club and quite often the he is a she that shares all the same innate qualities with her male counterpart. He’s bold. He’s pushy. But mostly, he’s irritating. Like nails on a blackboard, he sends the hair on your neck running for cover. He’s completely capable of catapulting Mother Theresa into a postal episode!. For nearly twenty years, I have passionately watched my three children participate in hundreds of athletic events and I have found this inventory of arrogant adult behavior to be simply unlimited.
Look. I’m not going to sit here and expound on all the wonderful values organized, youth sports programs offer our children. If you’re kids are enrolled in any activity, then you already know about the benefits of teamwork; the disciplines; the confidence building; the thrill of victory; the agony of defeat, blah, blah, blah. You’ve heard about, as well as preached these benefits for years. Hey, the fact of the matter is that a very annoying, small percentage of imbeciles are consistently and effectively destroying all these wonderful programs and robbing you and your children of what is rightfully yours. Not only are the sheer numbers of these morons multiplying at an alarming rate, but their individual comments and actions continue to push the envelope well beyond what’s publicly acceptable. This asinine behavior includes the verbal abuse of their very own children – the uninhibited humiliation of the volunteer coaching staff – the total disregard for all the parents and children that surround them - and the complete lack of respect for the umpires that by all accounts, are there for one simple reason - to provide balance and keep the children safe.
Just open the newspaper or catch the evening headlines and you know what I’m talking about – “another out of control parent loses it at junior’s game”. Google up ‘sports parents’ and you’ll get more hits than Babe Ruth in his prime. If you need the visual proof, then execute the same search on Youtube.com and watch these clowns perform their ridiculous acts with your very own eyes. This epidemic is so concerning, that several organizations throughout the country are dedicated to this advocacy mission. For example, the National Alliance for Youth Sports (NAYS) and the Institute for the Study of Youth Sports (ISYS) are staffed with brilliant people doing all the right things to stem the tide. It’s getting so bad that in February of 2008, the Massachusetts legislature passed House Bill 4479 that introduces new curriculum to teach sportsmanship, hopefully reducing the volume and intensity of school sports fights. Personally, I think it’s terrific that our tax dollars will be spent on teaching kids good sportsmanship. But who the heck is going to teach the parents?
Look. I’m not a legislator. I’m no researcher or therapist. And I’m certainly no doctor. I’m just a dad. A parent who loves his children and a parent, like you, that is completely capable of applying common sense to this madness. And I’m fed up! It’s time to bring this garbage out to the curb and dispose of it. It’s stinking up everything else that’s good with youth sports.
So while the doctors and sociologists try to determine therapeutic remedies for these sickies, I thought you and I might have some fun at their expense. I am certain that you will recognize, and I hope that you will enjoy this satirical, short story collection of twenty five misguided parents who are acutely afflicted with the incorrigible plague I humbly refer to as POTT-itis (Parents Over The Top).
